XB1 controller failing setup at security options stage

Bel77

I know there are a billion and one topics on this but I cant find any on my specific problem. Using retropie and Pi4 4Gb. The part that id different is that I am able to pair my XB1S controller. It is listed when you select 'show all bluetooth devices'. But during that setup process I get an error at the choose a security method. Have tried all 4 of them and all end with an error.
Since it is paired successfully I tried 'connect paired devices' but the screen flickers for a second and nothing happens.

Most of the slightly different approaches in using 'disable etrm' all talk about pairing issues. This seem to be for when your Pi cant see the controller at all. Mine is paired but wont connect.

Any suggestions for connecting the xb1s controller?
Any suggestions for the failing at security options part of the set up?

mitu

Try installing the xpadneo driver from RetroPie-Setup and then pair again the controller.

Bel77

@mitu Ha ha, hard to believe we are in April and I'm still trying to connect the XB1S controller and get games working in Retropie!

I installed xpadneo and have managed to pair the controller, but 2 issues remain.

Cannot select the Xbox home button when configuring the controller. I wanted to select it as the 'hotkey'. Even if I choose 'Yes' at the end of the setup when asked if you want 'select' as the hotkey, Start and Select wont exit out of the games.
After starting a game in retropie you are taken to a blue menu screen with various options (choose emulator, launch ect.) Left stick on the controller is the only way to navigate and to move down I have to kind of move it left and down (SW on the compass as an example) and pressing A does nothing unless I keep pressing it over and over.
Two more things - The cursor underneath the 'OK' in the blue menu screen is flashing really fast (it stops if I turn off the controller and if I plug in a wired controller it behaves normally) + if I am in a blue menu screen that has 'OK' and 'Cancel' down the bottom it continuously swaps between them.
So the controller has a mind of it's own. I can also confirm that the controller 100% works, I have tried it on the PC and Xbox.

Maybe I should erase the SD card and start from scratch? Although I'm not sure how much more time and effort I can invest in getting this working......